Tenth

Sólo queda una vela
encendida en medio de la tarta
y se quiere consumir.

Ya se van los invitados,
tú y yo nos miramos
sin saber bien qué decir.

Nada que descubra lo que siento:
Que este día fue perfecto
y parezco tan feliz...
Nada como que hace mucho tiempo
que me cuesta sonreir.

Quiero vivir,
quiero gritar,
quiero sentir
el Universo sobre mí.
Quiero correr en libertad,
quiero encontrar mi sitio.

Una broma del destino,
una melodía acelerada
en una canción que nunca acaba.

Ya he tenido suficiente;
necesito a alguien que comprenda
que estoy sola en medio de un montón de gente.
¿Qué puedo hacer?

Quiero vivir,
quiero gritar,
quiero sentir
el Universo sobre mí.
Quiero correr en libertad,
quiero llorar de felicidad.

Quiero vivir,
quiero sentir
el Universo sobre mí,
como un náufrago en el mar.
Quiero encontrar mi sitio,
sólo encontrar mi sitio.

Todos los juguetes rotos,
todos los amantes locos,
todos los zapatos de charol.
Todas las casitas de muñecas
donde celebraba fiestas
donde sólo estaba yo.

Vuelve el espíritu olvidado
del verano del amor.

Quiero vivir,
quiero gritar,
quiero sentir
el Universo sobre mí.
Quiero correr en libertad,
quiero llorar de felicidad.

Quiero vivir,
quiero sentir
el Universo sobre mí,
como un náufrago en el mar.
Quiero encontrar mi sitio,
sólo encontrar mi sitio

I always feel best when I rise with the sun.

There is something potent in waking up to the early-morning chatter of birds and squirrels and watching the sunrise with them. The God of the Sun is eager to greet you. Helios, Apollo, Ra, Lugh. By whatever name he is there without fail every day (except for those in the extreme latitudes). He is our strength. His fire fuels our daily endeavors and all life on earth is sustained by him. It is no wonder that he was the first god to be worshipped on earth by humankind.

From a bipolar perspective, keeping a diurnal internal clock is extremely healthy. Rising and setting with the sun allows our biological forms to revert to a sense of normalcy that has been ingrained in us since the dawn of time. Many bipolar people are nocturnal, and I understand that. I myself suffer from terrible insomnia from time to time. But when we can, bipolar people often find that they have “good days” more often than not when they rise in the morning and settle down in the evening.

For me, personally, I find myself growing closer and closer with Lugh. The Celtic pantheon is where my heart lies with Cernunnos and Andraste and now Lugh. I find myself growing closer as well to the Greek pantheon, specifically Hekate. Ever since the ritual I wrote about earlier, I have felt her presence in my life ever so strongly. As the goddess of the crossroads, she is calling me as I travel through a myriad of transitions in my life.

I’m sorry I haven’t written much lately. I’ve been captivated by the novel I’m writing. I do apologize and I will try to update more often from now on.

Blessed Be.

**Lyrics from "El Universo Sobre Mi" by Amaral
*Translated lyrics -

Only one candle remains
lit in the center of the cake
and it's about to go out.

The guests are leaving,
you and I look at each other
without really knowing what to say.

Nothing that could unveil what I feel:
That this day has been perfect
and I seem so happy...
Nothing like [saying] that since a long time ago
I have to force myself to smile.

I want to live,
I want to shout,
I want to feel
the Universe over me.
I want to run free,
I want to find my place.

A trick of destiny,
a fast melody
in a never-ending song.

I have had enough;
I need someone who understands
that I'm lonely in the middle of a crowd.
What can I do?

I want to live,
I want to shout,
I want to feel
the Universe over me.
I want to run free,
I want to weep for joy.

I want to live,
I want to feel
the Universe over me,
like someone shipwrecked at sea.
I want to find my place,
just to find my place.

All the broken toys,
all the crazy lovers,
all the patent leather shoes.
All the dollhouses
where I threw parties
and there was only me.

It's returning the forgotten spirit
of the summer of love.

I want to live,
I want to shout
I want to feel
the Universe over me.
I want to run free,
I want to weep for joy.

I want to live,
I want to feel
the Universe over me,
like someone shipwrecked at sea.
I want to find my place,
just to find my place.