Twenty-Second

I don’t really know
How to trust the gentleman
That come a’calling
 Sometimes I can feel
My heartbeat dying along
With my melting mind
 I am always sad
Sometimes I feel like dying
But I am still here
 I found that I am
Always going to be weird
And that is okay

What a mess the past few days have been. On Sunday, my brother and mother and I took my daughter, Momo, to the zoo. It was fun, although my family made it clear that they think I’m stupid as hell. The following exchange happened:

Me: Do animals get periods? Where does the blood go? Does it just drip down their legs?

Mom: Bleed and lick! Bleed and lick!

Bro: What animal were you thinking of?

Me: Oh, a li-

Bro (interrupting): Because if you were thinking of an animal that lays eggs I would have been really disappointed.

Mom: She’s thinking of reptiles.

In truth, I was thinking of lions.

______________________

Sunday night, Momo’s father came into town. He was staying with me. He took the bed with Momo while I slept on the couch. He stayed with me until Wednesday morning, when he left with Momo at 4:30am.

The whole time he was in town, my mind was completely hazy. I am unsure if it’s the empathy that comes with having severe mental illness or his energy, but his energy was beating mine into submission. I was overwhelmed by his disdain. He is a soft spoken man, but he also is the biggest jerk I’ve ever known. He continued to insult my parenting, my home, my pets, and me. He kept implying that what we had wasn’t real and he never actually even liked me too. I have no feelings for the man, but that was cruel to deny that the union that produced our little princess was beautiful.

I have been feeling highly spiritual today. I am rather excited.  I will be finding my patron deities by Sunday, and I will fill you in then on who my patrons are, what message they have for me, and info about each God/dess.